Whitney Houston’s Death Reminded Me to Love Myself From the Inside Out

At Whitney Houston’s funeral, Actor Kevin Costner said at “The Bodyguard” audition, she didn’t feel that she was good enough and/or pretty enough to get the part.  He said because of her insecurity regarding her looks that she went in the back and put on more make-up and that it smeared down her face because of the hot lights.

And since her death, some people have been talking about how could such a talented, beautiful woman be insecure about who she was?

Let me speak from the perspective of an African-American woman. It is very easy to either live in that vein of insecurity or visit there from time to time. You see from the time that we enter the world the media and sometimes our community bombards us with images, comments, etc. that we either don’t have the ideal hair texture, skin tone or body type. 

And when we wear make-up, different hair styles, etc. we are deemed as fake or insecure, while other cultures can freely experiment without judgement.

You see, we are taught someone else’s version of beauty is the best and it takes a lot of internal detoxing to get rid of these demons.

I realized that I still had issues a few years ago. My friend, Barbara Holt Streeter started a wonderful business, The PR and Protocol Group (www.prandprotocol.com) that includes apparel and accessories that empowers, educates and equips girls and women. And she gave me one of her “I Am Validated” t-shirts as a birthday gift.

I lifted the shirt out of the gift bag and read the inscription, “You Are Beautiful.” I was excited for the gift but cringed on the inside because of the words.

I told her, “You are trying to get me beat up. I can’t wear that shirt.” She laughed and told me that I was beautiful from the inside out. And I repeated, “I can’t wear it.”

We laughed it off but I was serious. You see throughout my life, especially when I was a girl, I have been bullied or treated wrong because people thought that I thought I was cute. They were judging me without getting to know me but humans sometimes do that. And the inscription took me back to that place.

Yes, I’ve seen other girls/women wear that t-shirt with pride? But I couldn’t because of the internal scars that still existed.

Thank you Barbara because that t-shirt confrontation reminded me that I still had issues and it allowed me to push past the internal demons to outwardly express the real me. And Costner’s comments at Houston’s funeral about her struggle encouraged me to write this blog so that someone else will start loving themselves from the inside out.

Thank you God for loving me and by me loving you I can love myself (from the inside out).


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About pressonwebzine

Phenola Moore writes blogs on www.pressonwebzine.wordpress.com, she is the author of a digital book of poems, "Reveal the Real You Poetry Collection" and you can access pass issues of her online magazine, "Press On! Webzine," www.pressonwebzine.com. She has a Bachelor’s of Arts degree in English with a minor in Journalism from the University of Maryland University College. Follow her on Twitter @pressonwebzine.
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10 Responses to Whitney Houston’s Death Reminded Me to Love Myself From the Inside Out

  1. Marko says:

    Beautifully written Ms. Moore!

  2. Velma says:

    ON YOUR BEAUTY [just “my” thought] 😀
    Hi Phenola, I’m not yet sure why you need the T-shirt (albeit a nice gift); your presence speaks of your beauty inside and out. Knowing personally your faith and love for the Lord, you can boldly proclaim and take ownership of His word for you from Psalms 139:
    13 For You formed my inward parts; You covered me in my mother’s womb.
    14 I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made;[b]Marvelous are Your works,
    And that my soul knows very well.
    15 My frame was not hidden from You, When I was made in secret, And skillfully wrought in the lowest parts of the earth.
    16 Your eyes saw my substance, being yet unformed. And in Your book they all were written,
    The days fashioned for me, When as yet there were none of them.

    “Go forth and claim it and walk boldly in it. You are beautiful young lady!
    Velma Crawford

  3. Sherrell says:

    Good morning, I have never responded to anything I have read but I thought your comments were very interesting and must say I agree. Often we are made to feel inscure because we might have vained legs, marks/scares in our face or whatever it maybe. In my own personal life I come to except the marks/scares that I have and live with them. I am pressing to get to know the women that God knows and have selected for His purpose on this earth. Please do not get me wrong I still struggle to look pass the external becasue it is what people look at thinking it is what makes you, when it does not. We are often judged or misunderstood because of our personailies or temperment but at the end of the day only God thoughts is what really should manner in our lives. For that person who has yet to come to know Him, I say to you look at you for who you are and for what you desire to accomplish in life and go for it, but rememeber all that can be accomplished but until Christ is invited in to become the center of your life it will not being much benefit to you in the manner He intended for you to enjoy this life. Have a great day!

    • Thank you for your insightful remarks. I am thankful that I invited Christ into my life at the age of nine and He continues to develop me into His image. Each day gets sweeter. And you probably cam attest to this, too.

      Take care. Phenola

  4. Janis says:

    Very timely for me Phenola. Thanks so much for sharing.

  5. Charmaine Franklin says:

    I enjoyed this article. Not just because it is written by a beautiful woman, sister, friend… But also because it spoke volumes to me… I too have been in that place and also felt the same way when my daughter asked if she and I could get matching “I Am Beautiful” shirts… My first thought was… “I can’t wear that !!!” It has taken a lot of time, a lot of energy, a lot of transparency with friends, and a lot of prayer but today at age 50, I can honestly say that I don’t care what anybody else thinks! My esteem level is higher than it has ever been! I still struggle some days, but I finally KNOW, both in my head and in my heart, that God loves me and that I am ALL OF THAT to Him. It no longer matters to me that I don’t have certain attributes or gifts and talents like those that I used to compare myself with. I am so very happy with the person He made in me! Even when I stumble or fall, (and there have been many) … as Whitney said, “I don’t crumble.”

    Thank You Jesus!

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